I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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