In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
