Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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