you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
your room smells of hookers.
And success
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
