He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize