Already got asked if we're dating
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
