im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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