he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
