totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
