if you like me you must not know who I am
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize