she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
