He is an equal opportunity slut.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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