you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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