i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
