Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
