I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize