ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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