I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
