Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
