Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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