College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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