I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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