Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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