how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
