one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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