it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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