glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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