I am spending my child support on dildos
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
