i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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