look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
