He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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