how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
