He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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