I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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