I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
