Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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