That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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