she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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