I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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