he wants to bone in the snuggie
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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