Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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