Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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