I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
