is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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