We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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