I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
