is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
