I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
