just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize