We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
