Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize