also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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