when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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