Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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