How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
