it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I want a musical about memes.
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