just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
