I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
