went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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